Originally Posted by QuadQueen
Unfortunately a lot of times the two cannot coexist well. I've been bodybuilding for nearly 14 years since I was a young kid. All my friends I grew up with know this and know when I'm contest dieting--so they know the rules, lol. Don't feed me!
They know I will sit in the house during prep and refuse social events or if I come out I will bring my own food. On the relationship side of things, I tend to only date other bodybuilders who are just as focused/intense as I am. I have tried dating those outside the fitness circle and they simply don't understand why staying on a diet is such a priority. "Lets go out for drinks! We can't go out to dinner every night this week? Lets get cheese fries after the bar tonight!" I have informed those in my life how important it is to me to live this lifestyle so counting calories on my Excel spreadsheet & weighing foods is second nature & they know it will happen and respect my choices.
Perhaps educating your wife on the importance of dieting & calorie consciousness will help her see why its important to you. Right now it seems like she is looking at it like you are refusing her food and not appreciating her meals. If she looks at it like you're not refusing her food--you are instead making yourself look sexier for her & improving your health to be around for her longer--perhaps her mind will shift and she can be more accommodating to your meal choices. Offer to help her in the kitchen and weigh & measure your own food. Perhaps she would enjoy not having to be in the kitchen all the time cooking superstar meals and maybe save those for the weekend meals only? Tell her she deserves a break in the kitchen and encourage her to do a hobby/take some downtime. Its your body and you have to do what is best for you. You're not forcing her to diet too... just encouraging a move in a healthier direction for the family.
Ignore all the above.
Anybody who wants a happier more fulfilling existence, stop being neurotic about all this crap and just eat in a normal way in social contexts. You can succeed in spite of how you eat with your wife, for goodness sake. You can adjust and tailor your caloric intake at other times of the day.
Enjoy your damn marriage, and stop the sort of anal neurosis exhibited in some of the posts here